knitting and faith.

{this is a cheat. This was written many years ago on a different blog. I had nothing today, so here is a look at thoughts from the past.}

(this may be a repeat story…but i have to get it down in writing…forgive me if you’ve heard this before!)

In all of this learning and growth and seeking, a certain analogy came to light that has struck a chord in me in such a way that I must share it. You see, in this past year in particular a dominant theme in my personal story is one of learning to walk on my own. Being a complete, full ME. But, you see, I have had to walk in the dark a lot, or in a lot of fog, and, well, I don’t like that. I want the lights on, the cobwebs dusted, and the map out. I want to know where I’m supposed to go and how I’m supposed to do it. So, I pray. So, I read the Bible. So, I seek counsel. And you know what? It is still gray. The Bible holds a ton of conflict. My favorite, and most explicit that comes to mind:

Proverbs 26: 4-5
4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself.
5 Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.

Ok. So..do I answer the fool or not???? geez!

While I was trying to figure out how to BE, how to live, how to move forward, how to do what was right in the eyes of God…I was knitting a sweater. The Hourglass Sweater. You know the one. I got this great yarn (Noro Cash Iroha), a great book (Last Minute Knitted Gifts) and set to it. I did it all “right.” I measured myself. I read the pattern first. I bought extra yarn “in case.” I cast on. I knit knit knit. Then I read some reviews and other knitters’ experiences. Hmmm. Seems this yarn grows. Seems folks run out of yarn. Seems you need to go down a size. I was halfway through the body and had a crisis (you may have read about it here and here.) I was so stumped and stressed. I did not like this. I had a stinking pattern. It is supposed to be this simple…cast on x amount of stitches. You knit, you purl, you decrease, you increase, you add sleeves, you bind off…you have a sweater. But nooooooo! oh no. It does not work that way. You have a pattern. You knit. Oh, you knit loosely? You knit tight? hmm. You need to use different needles? oh. I see. You have a pattern, but You have to live it. In your own way. You have to tear out the entire thing and do it over, trusting that You will figure it out. Yes, there is guidance, there are other’s experiences, there is even an author to talk to. But…YOU have to do the knitting. You have to wear the sweater in the end. So…I did it. I didn’t give up. I still trusted the pattern, believed the author (seriously…I emailed her!), and trusted in my skills. I CAN knit (and pretty well, I’d say.) And I made a beautiful sweater.

God takes things from the ashes and resurrects them into beautiful, glorious things. Beings. In some way, this sweater was a picture of that to me. Of God taking me down to my essentials. The yarn, a little worn from being knit once. And reknitting. Not necessarily from scratch. But in the end…well, the story isn’t quite done now is it? I’m still in the process. And I am so very thankful for that. I am God’s handiwork. He has me. I’m figuring out how to live this in my very own way.

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