“I love, therefore I am vulnerable.”
― Madeleine L’Engle, Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art
I have been challenged by some smarty pants friends to write something every day for 365 days. They have begun really wonderful blogs, and constantly write inspiring, thoughtful, funny, etc. facebook posts, tweets, #yougetthepicture. I have some very smart friends….authors, artists, editors, all of whom write great stuff. They are culturally, politically, and socially engaged. And, well, while I truly love words…reading words, defining, spelling, teaching, playing with words…I find myself shy of the actual writing of words. I kind of blame it, for now, at least, on what is cycling through my brain and how it doesn’t appear to lend itself to writing. For instance:
When will I get this kid on the toilet?
Why does he post so many selfies?
Why do profanities pop up so frequently in my inner dialogue?
Why does she post so many photos of her best friend’s husband?
What did I do wrong that requires my son to need glasses?
Does my preteen know how much I love her?
What is for dinner?
And, well, I think I get it a bit. Writing about such stuff on the impulse would really be boring, foolish, possibly slanderous, and flat out meh. My inner dialogue is busy with worry and fear. For friends, strangers, my kids, my husband, my community, church, myself. I would like to think it is because I am such a caring and thoughtful person. But when it comes down to it, I am pretty sure I worry because I do not trust in the One who bids me “Do not fear.”
So, this challenge is, to me, an act of faith. I am going to place my eyes on Jesus standing over there on top of the depths and walk out of my comfy boat here and walk on water. One word at a time.