geekiness.

Today, I am doing something I do well. Reveling in my geekiness. I could try to blame the lack of sleep caused by sitting bedside to a barfing Jude, or my recent work with Eli on memorizing prepositions, but truth is…it’s just me.

As you all know, I’m trying to get better at memorizing scripture. I can’t just read to memorize. I need to write it out. Over and over. Plus, I like lists and blue bic pens. So, as I am struggling through 1 Peter 1:3-9, I was caught up in all those prepositional phrases! They work as anchors to help me get it straight. And to see what is really being said. I decided to sit with Stella as she did her school work and try out one of her class’s ways of learning: doodle notes. Here is where that took me… Kinda fun. I am not an artist, but I am solid on this much of my memorizing! I think I will keep adding to it as the verses go on. We shall see…
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hope.

Well, dear Readers, be prepared to camp out here for awhile with me as I sort through my pages of notes and wandering thoughts I accumulated in the past 24 hours. How do I describe such a time?

Rich.
Hope-filled.
Grace-drenched.
Love-inducing.
Reminded.
Worshipful.
Grounded.

I could go on and on there. So I need to dip my toe in. I need to start with what is coming to the surface now. My thoughts will not be linear.

My biggest take-away from my time at CCEFs Anxiety Conference is that I want to know more scripture. Why is this something I say constantly and take minimal steps towards? I know that God’s word is the only thing I can cling to I my darkest times. I remember one day where I was stuck in bed, quite content to pull the covers over my head. I had just had a miscarriage and my dad was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. So, yes, just reasons for fear and anxiety. But I was on my bed crying…going nowhere. A dear friend called me up and didn’t ask how to help. Didn’t try to fix it. She stayed on the phone with me for over an hour reading scripture to me. Reminding me of God’s promises until one jumped out for me that I could cling to and rise up. She prayed, emailed the verses to me and continued to fortify me with the only thing that helps: God’s words.

Ed Welch closed the conference with a time of reflection and Where Do We Go From Here kind of thoughts. He spoke of the psalms. Some of them draw a response of Yes, That’s Me! Others draw aspiration.Hope to one day Be There. He closed by reading a “psalm” that has very close relevance to my life, my story, and the lives and stories of my family. He read 1 Peter 1:3-9. At the mention of 1 Peter 1, there were tears flowing. This passage was the only passage highlighted in my Dad’s Bible when he passed away. It was highlighted because he helped my Mom memorize it for her Bible study. There are now a team of women who have this written on their hearts, with a special Ruth Ann Tag attached. So, as I post it here, I commit to joining my Mom and memorizing it. But not just saying the words. I will sit and think on them. Do you memorize scripture? Do you want to? Join me….I am in need.

Praise God for a Living Hope
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.